Um scales, what the fuuuuuuck?

So this is some kind of BULLSHIT. You know that feeling when you want to raise the piece of shit scales above your head and break them over your knee and then use the broken pieces to stab anyone skinnier than you in the near vicinity? Yeeeeah. That was me this morning when I checked my body fat percentage.

I’ve patiently held out an entire month since I last weighed myself, (least I get all silly and obsessive about it) the last weigh in being after the Xmas holiday (3 boxes of scorched almonds and leftover trifle for breakfast week of doom). I have stuck to my weights program with a vigilance that Commando Steve would envy and Ive not strayed once from the path that is paleo.

So why are the scales being an asshole?

There are several reasons for this that I can think of. 1) THE SCALES ARE BROKEN. 2) I put my height in wrong last time I used the scales and coincidentally obtained an inaccurate reading. 3) I spent a week eating trifle and scorched almonds, and its going to take more than a month of squatting til I shit myself to rectify this. (This actually has never happened to me, to be clear. Its the chin ups that got me.) Logically, I’m going to go with a combo of the last two. As much as I wanted to rush straight from the gym to the supermarket ice cream aisle (BEN AND JERRY’S) I had a whinge, did a workout,and went home to take photos of my stomach in the mirror. Still got it.

Sometimes scales are just assholes.